The Joy and Fear of Not Knowing Who You Are #EdChat

Teaching in middle school the past couple of years after over a decade in high school has opened up my eyes to the things that I have actively worked to repress from my own years in middle school. Middle school students spend so much time trying to figure out who they are and where they fit in. They look at adults and think it is so easy because we know our place in the world. If they only knew how far from the truth that really is.

In software terms, every year is a new version of yourself. You start off in Beta and eventually you will turn 10 and make it to version 1.0. Right now, I'm Nicholas Provenzano v4.0. Next year, I will have an upgrade to 4.1. Version 3.8 had no idea how to use a CNC machine, laser cutter, Adobe Illustrator, a lathe, and so much more. 4.0 me can make pens, turn bowls, design bendable wood book covers on Illustrator, and so much more. Sometimes the upgrade is really a downgrade in some ways, (Pegged jeans, acid washed denim, etc.), but we take user feedback and improve the next time around. I am determined to be the best version of myself and that is exciting and filled with joy. Every version of me comes with bugs that will be worked out over time and that is the joy of the process. Working to become a better me.

I think it is important to let young students know that an end goal of who you are going to be doesn't exist. Lifelong learning is real and helps us constantly evolve into better versions of ourselves. If the software analogy doesn't work, compare it to Pokemon Evolutions, experience points that cause a character to level up, or make a TikTok video to explain it to them.

I used to let the fear of not knowing who I was and who I was going to be consume me. I now embrace that unknown future and do my best to just be the best version of me I can be every year. I feel like the more honest we are as adults about how we don't have being a grown up figured out all the time can really relieve some of the stress that our students feel. IDK. I might be wrong. Hopefully the next version of me will have a better handle on it. That, and a slimmer case.

Hugs and High Fives,

NP

Teaching with Fear #EdChat

Ralph Waldo Emerson - "Do the thing we fear, and death of fear is certain."

Every day, I teach with fear.

It's not the fear of evaluation or some other top down edict that is going to change education for all to see.

Flickr user BK

It's the fear that I'm going to let my students down. It's the strongest motivating factor in doing what I do. Any given day I can fail my students by not giving everything I can. That fear is what keeps me on my toes and striving to be better at my job.

Fear is too often viewed as a bad thing, but if Pixar movies have taught me anything, it's that everyone is afraid, its how you use that fear that truly matters.

I use that fear to drive me. I want to be the best teacher because I cannot live with the idea that I have failed any of my students. I know I am going to from time to time, but I will never stop doing what I do because I'm afraid.

I wonder if I am the only one that teaches with fear.

Hugs and High Fives,

Nick