The Shame Of Being Neurodiverse #MentalHealth

One of the things that tends to get lost in the shuffle when talking about neurodiversity is the feelings that can go along with it. One feeling in particular is the feeling of shame. 

As a neurodiverse person, I feel an incredible amount of shame when I don't get things done the way neurotypical people expect them to be done. I feel shame when I can't find the think I have been tasked to look for right away. That shame turns into anxiety over time and it makes for a very tough few moments. 

The shame comes from the fact that we understand how this task would be simple for a neurotypical person. The shame comes from knowing that others are watching and possibly judging. The shame hits even harder when someone comments about why it is taking so long or why it couldn't be done in a different, "more normal", way. 

How we deal with students who are neurodiverse can impact their love of learning. We don't want to connect the feeling of shame with learning. Being in Middle School, I will often find myself asking a student that has done something impulsive, "What were you thinking?"

It seems like a simple questions, but it is all about tone. The teacher tone that says, "What you did was wrong, bad, or weird and you should know better than to do that. What is wrong with you?"

As a neurodiverse person, you'd think I would be better at addressing students who are neurodiverse as well, but I make mistakes. I've been conditioned to react to certain behaviors and I need to continue to work on tone and interactions with students who show their neurodiversity in ways that do not look like ones I'm am accustomed to seeing. 

It is hard to go through a day feeling shame because my brain refuses to fit in with the rest of the brains around me. I will continue to ask for grace from those that know me and advocate for students who do not need to feel shame at school because they don't fully understand their own neurodiversity. 

Hugs and High Fives, 

Nick

Teaching, Mental Health, and Stuffing My Face #EdChat

The start of the school year is tough for so many reasons. One of them is the act of getting back into the school routine of your life. I've spent the Summer sleeping in, working out on a regular schedule (for the most part), and using the bathroom whenever I needed. Being back at school changes all of that. 

I have a 40 minute drive to work in the morning and I need to be at school by 7:15ish or else I get stuck in traffic and will never be to school on time for our 7:50 meetings. That means I have to be up and out the door by 6:30ish. Working out has been a huge part of managing my mental health. It sets my brain on the right path for the day and fills me with the good energy. I would need to get up over an hour earlier to get in a good workout and make it to school on time. 

Working out after school is tough. I'm tired and I just want to hang with the family and see how the day went. It is tough to want to do an ab workout after running around school all day chasing 6th graders to make sure they have all of their supplies. I wish there was a simple answer here, but I can't find it. 

Another part of being back to school is adjusting my bladder schedule and my water intake. I can't just down all of the water I want during the day because I will be with students and will only have a 5 minute window every 75 minutes to have my bio break. That can really take its toll on the body the first couple of weeks. 

All of this is going on while I'm trying to come up with new lessons, learn student names, and keep everyone engaged. If I had the time, I would be stuffing my face with food to deal with the anxiety of it all, so I guess that one of the good things to come out of all this. Avoiding the stress eating is a bit easier. 

Taking some time in the morning in my room alone with some meditation helps and, sometimes, if the drive to school was really short and it is nice out, I might take a 20 minute walk outside. Trying to find the little windows of mental and physical health support is the best I can do right now and sometimes, the best you can do right now is the good enough. 

I hope all of you out there are finding these little moments of personal support and know that it is ok that you are doing your best, even if it is not exactly where you want to be.

Hugs and High Fives, 

NP

Be Brave Today #EdChat #MentalHealth @SaraBareilles

I wanted to share this on Monday because I know many of you are so brave to get up and get to work today despite the feelings of anxiety and depression. I am so proud of you. It is not easy. If you are struggling, here is a link to some resources provided by the US Department of Health and Human Services. 

You are all brave. Here is a song from Sara Bareilles that helps me on days that are tough. 

Hugs and High Fives, 

The Nerdy Teacher

The Dog Days of Fall? #EdChat #MentalHealth

The time from the start of school until the Thanksgiving break has always been the longest part of the school year. When you break down most calendars, it is one of the longest periods of time in the school year without a break. It can be 10-12 weeks without a week off to recharge. It is so important to find the time to take care of yourself in ways that are going to make it possible to be your best self as the school year continues. 

Everyone practices self-care in very different ways. Here are just a few things I have done in the past during these Fall months that have helped me make it to the first long break of the year. Maybe some of these will inspire you to give them a try.

Workout the Stress

I have finally gotten back on the bike for my physical wellness. That is not just fun wordplay, I have invested in a Peloton bike and have been riding regularly since August. I am not a fan of big studio bike riding where I'm surrounded by other people. Being by myself where I can just ride and sing along to the music has really helped me stay in shape and lose some weight. If you have the bike and subscription, you also have access to all of their non-bike workouts as well. I have been working on stretches and things to improve my back health. I suffer from chronic back pain and I'm hoping I can work on getting everything in a better place. If you can make the time for some physical wellness activities, it can make the Fall time a little bit easier. If you live in areas that gets ton of snow, try to get outside as much as you can before the weather makes it impossible. 

Find Peace

I have started to do more meditation at night before I go to sleep. It has really helped calm my mind and would encourage everyone to try it out. It is not for everyone, but it works for me. My anxiety slammed brain needs something to calm it down before trying to get to sleep. Doing some breathing techniques and thinking routines has really helped calm my thoughts and prepare me for a restful night of sleep. 

If meditation is not your thing, find something that brings you joy. It could be cuddling up on the couch wrapped in a blanket reading your favorite book. Maybe it is sitting at a table and building a puzzle or creating something amazing with LEGO bricks. We all have those things that make us feel calm and relaxed when we get to do them. It is important to make the time to connect with those activities and feel good about doing them. 

Take a Break

This one can be tough to do, but can be very important. Take a break from grading one day a week. Pick a day and choose not to bring the grading home. Dedicated that time to yourself and your family. It is very easy to write this here, but I have found that making that choice has led to a less stressful environment. Taking work home every day and over the weekend is exhausting and leads to burnout. It is ok to take the time for yourself and leave those paper on your work desk for an extra day. Once you establish this routine, it will be very easy for you.

Just Say No

The hardest thing that a teacher can say is no. We are hardwired to want to help and that can be taken advantage of by others who do not consider how much stress the extra work can bring to people. Every person only has so much bandwidth to give to a variety of projects. While it can be tough to tell someone know, it is important for your health to advocate for yourself and set those boundaries. I have had to tell people that I'd love to help, but my plate is full and I do not have the time to do a project to the best of my ability. Honest conversations about what you are able to handle at that moment can be effective is lessening the load during the entire school year. 

This school year is the second full school year impacted by the pandemic. Teachers have been pushed to the brink in many different ways. The long stretch in the Fall has been very tough for many educators and the winter months, especially for those that are going to deal with lots of snow, are only going to get tougher. Please do your best to make time for yourself so you can be happy in mind, body, and heart. If things become too difficult, remember to reach out to friends and family to get the support you need. You're not alone on this journey. 

Hugs and High Fives, 

The Nerdy Teacher

A Year Packed Into A Month #SemiColonEdu #MentalHealth

The constant message I have been getting from my peers is how burnt they are and they have only been back to school for a month! My heart breaks because there are so many great teachers out there who are struggling with the weight of their educational world on their shoulders. The "Grin and Bear It" crowd that wants teachers to just do their job is already wearing thin on educators. 

There are teachers that are leaving the profession and not looking back. I do not begrudge those teachers. Mental Health has to be number one for people. If you can't take care of yourself, how can you take care of others. 

One of the things I want to remind everyone of is to find your people. Find those close people that can listen to you vent. Those people that understand what is like to go through the ringer the first couple of weeks of school. Teachers are not encouraged to share their mental health feelings publicly like many professions. If we want to normalize mental health conversations in the education community we have to start having these conversations publicly. 

There is nothing to be ashamed of when it comes to mental health. I am treated for anxiety and depression. I'm no longer embarrassed of that fact. By being open about this, I have helped other educators and some students. They felt comfortable to reach out for support because they knew I was someone who would understand. Before we can truly support the mental health of students, we need to build a network that supports teachers and their mental health. It will look a little different for everyone, but we have to start working on connecting and supporting. It could be teachers jumping on the Peloton for a 30 minute rock ride to get the stress out of our system, or it might be virtual Yoga or Meditation as a group. 

There tons of ways to support one another we need to think of how we can do it because nobody is just going to do it for us. 

Sending all of you big virtual hugs and high fives, 

NP

#NotAlone - National Mental Health Awareness Month

 

It has been a crazy week for me and I wanted to make sure I share it out in the hopes that it could help at least one person who feels the same. 

Almost 7 years ago, I shared my first post about my ongoing battle with depression and anxiety. It was not an easy post to write, but it is one of the most important ones I have ever written. We need to end the stigma around talking about Mental Health because too many people suffer in silence. Not everyone is ready to share their story, but the more of us that are ready and share, we make it a little easier for others. 

This past week has been rough for me. For a reason I cannot figure out, I have been having anxiety attacks. I have an amazing family. My job is the best in the world. Everything around me is pretty amazing right now. And yet, I have this sense of impending doom that comes out of nowhere and I find myself fighting off a spiral into depression. I still take my medication like I always do, but something about this week has set off the funky parts of my brain. The crazy part of these feelings is the guilt that comes with it it. Why do I feel this way when everything is so good here?

I'm lucky to have an amazing support network in place because I was open about my mental health years ago. I can reach out to my friends and they can talk me through the nonsense in my brain. I'm not sure where I would be during the pandemic without my meds, my therapist, friends, and family. I'm lucky to have these things in my life. 

I encourage you to speak out and share with others your battles with mental health if you are comfortable. Sharing makes a difference and can save lives. Teaching is tough. Teaching during a pandemic is tougher. Teaching during a pandemic while dealing with mental health issues is next to impossible. Whether you think you should or should not have these feelings, know that you are not alone. You are loved. 

Please share this far and wide so we can help end the stigma of talking about mental health. 

The Home Stretch #Wellness #TeacherAppreciation

Here we are. We made it to May. I've been in-person and hybrid teaching all year and I'm tired. Non pandemic Mays are tiring for teachers, but add in-person/hybrid teaching to the mix and I am downright exhausted. This is the time of the year where I have to remind myself to make sure I make time for Self Care. Here are some simple tips that can help you make it through the final weeks of the school year while maintaining what is left of your energy and sanity. 

1. Close your email

One of the toughest things to do is to take a step away from your work email. This is the time of the year where I regularly take time away from my work email on the weekends. It allows me to focus on me and my family and not the stress of what I have to deal with on Monday. For some, this might not be an option, so I suggest cutting off email after a set time of the day. It could be 5 or 6 pm or something sooner. Find time away from the tether of your school so you can focus on you. 

2. Do that thing you like

That is a pretty vague statement, but I want people to do just that. It might be knitting, gardening, gaming, painting, readings, yoga, etc. Whatever it is, make time in your schedule to do the thing. Work with your partner and see if they can help hold down the fort while you make time for an hour here and there to do that thing. Doing that thing will make you happy which is great for your brain when things get stressful at the end of the year. 

3. Talk to someone

One of the best things I have ever done was decide to speak to a therapist. While talking to my wife is helpful, I don't want to unload all of my stress and anxiety on one person. A therapist allowed me to unpack lots of feelings and find some peace when things would get hectic. If you are not ready to speak to a therapist, it is important that you have someone to connect with to share your thoughts and feelings. Bottling everything up will only lead to more stress and anxiety over time. 

4. Be OK with OK

One of the toughest parts of teaching is accepting that everything does not have to be perfect. Covid teaching adds another level to this. The best thing for me in the current teaching environment is to be OK with OK. Not everything is going to be perfect, but I'm going to try and create a fun and engaging learning environment every day. Some days I will succeed and others I will be fail. I have to be ok with being ok so I can get back up and try the next day. 

5. Keep hope

Lastly, keeping hope that things will get better is important. There will be days where it feels impossible and there will be days that are filled with hope. It is important to ride that rollercoaster and keep hope in your heart. If you are reading things, know that you are part of an amazing educational community that will support you if you reach out. Keep up hope. Things will get better. 

These are just some of my suggestions as we wind down the school year. Some are easier than others, but they are all important. We can all do this together. It is one of the toughest jobs in the world, but you wouldn't be here if you weren't tough. Even the toughest of us have our weak moments, but know that you are not alone in having them. 

It is Teacher Appreciation Week.

From one teacher to another, 

You are appreciated.

Hugs and High Fives, 

N Provenzano